Daughters 22 years old. A year ago she graduated from the university, but still has not gotten a job. There were several interviews, but did not grow together. My husband and I offered options, but they did not come to my daughter, according to her, due to the fact that it was far from driving. She is ashamed of friends and classmates to seek help, she is afraid that they will condemn that she still sits on her mother’s neck. She herself does not make active attempts to find a job. The daughter has been living with my mother for the past three years. My husband and I rent housing and live separately. Materially I help them. But over the past year, the daughter’s relationship with my grandmother has deteriorated. Grandma does not hide her negative attitude to the fact that the granddaughter does not work, insults her. Scandals often arise between them. Then they don’t talk to each other for weeks. It is impossible to reconcile them in this situation. I regret my mother, but even more daughter, I see how difficult it is for her now. She looked like a driven animal. I look at her, and children’s insults come to life – my relatives have a heavy character. I want to rent an apartment for my daughter to move from my grandmother. But it is necessary that the daughter should solve the issue of employment as quickly as possible. How can I influence her?
Children are always difficult to endure criticism, especially from close. Despite the fact that your daughter is already 22 years old, she still needs caring support and approval. Patient attitude towards the child gives space for growth. Your idea that you need to rent a separate housing for your daughter, just refers to the manifestation of care and attention. With this gesture, you will show that you do not care and it is true that everything is important for you to be fine.
It would be wonderful if you could express feelings in words, spoke them out loud. Told that you see – the daughter is bad with the https://iridologynews.com/iridology/ grandmother, and it will be better to live on their territory. To some extent, a separate residence requires a childbirth from the child: you need to take care of housing, keep clean and order. Prepare your food, wash things and so on, take care of yourself.
Search for work, the choice of activities that will allow you to realize is also caring attention to yourself. When you provide your child with support and support, a space will appear for searching and choosing activities. Criticism and guilt can put pressure on your daughter, the feeling that «everyone has already been able, but I have not». Here you can also significantly reduce the degree of pressure if you say that you believe in it and are ready to actively help so that it is not afraid to try and act.